Title: A Euphemism for "Ski Trip"
Summary: Dom, Orlando and Billy take Elijah on a ski trip to bring up his spirits, but the trip does not turn out like he planned.
Notes:thepsychicclam, I really hope you enjoy this. You gave me a very open-ended prompt, so I hope this fits the bill. It was a pleasure writing for you.
On a cold July day, three Hobbits and one Elf set off on what they proclaimed to be "New Zealand's most epic ski trip ever." The trip had been Orlando's idea, one of his few good ones. He'd also suggested they all get matching tattoos, this coming from the man who had tattooed a sun to his stomach when he was sixteen. Needless to say, the ski trip sounded much more appealing than matching tattoos. Pete even condoned the endeavor and gave the cast and crew some time off during the cold July winter. He said it would be a nice "bonding experience." None of them had the heart to tell him that they were actually trying to cure Elijah's homesickness. It had taken much prodding a cajoling to get Elijah to agree to go. He'd never been skiing, and hadn't much interest in it, but the other three insisted it would be a great time, so he wasn't given much of an opportunity to say "no."
The group arrived at Whakapapa anxious to get on the slopes, and relieved to be away from filming, if only for a few days. It seemed ironic that they were skiing on the same mountain that would be used to shoot the scenes where Sam carries Frodo up Mount Doom, but they were determined to put thoughts of work behind them and focus on their mini-vacation.
After a full day of skiing and falling down more times than he'd like to count (a fact his very sore ass could attest to) Elijah wanted nothing more than to sit by the fire with something warm to drink. 'Something' turned out to be hot tea and amaretto, which the others assured him was a common drink in the UK.
"Well, Doodle, not bad for your first day on the slopes. Tomorrow you probably won't fall down half as much," Dom grinned, taking a sip of his own spiked tea.
"I think maybe I'll sit tomorrow out--give my ass a break."
"If you would quit falling down so much, your arse wouldn't hurt," Orlando was quick to point out.
"Maybe we should put him with the wee ones on the bunny slopes, you know?" Billy chimed in, "That way he'll be in good company when he falls. He could probably pass for a ten-year-old, too."
"Is this trip supposed to make me feel better or worse about myself?" Elijah huffed, taking a large gulp of tea.
"Ahh, lads, give the boy a break. We can't expect our little Yank to know how to ski. It only snows in the northern part of California, mind. He's probably never even seen this much snow before."
Orlando and Billy grinned at the joke, but Elijah rolled his eyes and gulped down the last of his tea. "I'm going to bed. I'm not in the mood for you guys shitting on me, or taking the piss, or whatever the fuck you Brits want to call it. I'll see you in the morning."
"Maybe you should have a wank!" Orlando called after Elijah's retreating figure. "It might loosen the stick that's somehow lodged itself in your arse!" He turned back to Billy and Dom. "Bloody wanker. We try to bring him round for a nice time away from the set and all he can do is bitch. Good thing all Americans aren't like that. He's got enough attitude to give his whole country a bad name."
"Viggo doesn't bitch that much," Billy said.
"No," Dom agreed, "but Sean more than makes up for it."
Billy inclined his head slightly. "True."
Orlando set his empty mug down on the table between them. "Well, boys, I do believe Elijah has put me off my drink. I think I'm gonna go have myself a wank and rest my back. I twisted it something awful going down one of those runs."
He gave them a small wave and headed off the way Elijah had gone.
"And then there were two," Dom said, picking up the nearly full bottle of Amaretto.
"Actually, I think I'm going to turn in, too," Billy said, giving Dom an apologetic smile. "I'd like to get out there early tomorrow."
"Cunt," Dom sighed affectionately. "All right, sweet dreams, then. Give Orli my regards."
"You're hilarious," Billy said dryly, clapping Dom on the shoulder as he ambled away.
"And then there was one," Dom said to the Amaretto bottle. With a deep sigh, he picked up the bottle and headed up to the room he was sharing with Elijah.
As he slid the key card into the lock, he eased the door open slowly in case Elijah was already in bed. "Lij?" he stage-whispered around the door to find that the lights were still on. "Are you awake?" he asked, walking completely into the room, allowing the door to shut behind him.
"Yup," Elijah drawled from his position on the bed by the window with his headphones on, "Did Orlando and Billy go to bed?"
"Aye. Orlando left right after you, and Billy was hot on his heels. Probably eager to go have a shag. Orlando claimed it was a wank, but I know better."
"Are you still on about that?" Elijah asked, pulling his headphones off. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
"'On about that' listen to you, little Yankee Doodle trying to sound like a Brit. Yes, I'm still 'on about that,' because it's fairly obvious. Why do you think they 'volunteered' us to room together? It wasn't because they thought we'd die without each other for the night." Dom thumped the bottle of Amaretto down on the hotel credenza. "In any event, we still have nearly an entire bottle of this shite, and I don't know about you, but I intend to get completely pissed tonight."
Elijah looked from the bottle to Dom and sighed deeply.
Dom frowned. "What? Have you suddenly gone sober?"
"No, I just don't know how I'm going to ski tomorrow. I'm bad enough as it is. Hungover, I'll probably fall face-first down the mountain."
For some reason, Dom found this indescribably funny, and he doubled over with laughter. "I'm sorry," he said, attempting to stand, and wiped at his watery eyes. "It's just that I'm picturing you becoming a giant snowball."
With a noise of frustration, Elijah dragged himself up off the bed, stalked over to Dom, snatched the bottle of Amaretto off the credenza and took a long swig. "If I become a snowball, I will personally turn you into a SnowDom."
"That's the spirit, Doodle," Dom grinned, taking the proffered bottle.
When the Amaretto was gone, so were Dom and Elijah. They ended up together on Dom's bed, laying side-by-side, having a Very Serious argument about the end of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.
"No. That was not the best twist in cinema. It was Psycho. You can't top Norman Bates."
"I think Darth Vadar aka Anakin Skywalker does a pretty good fucking job, my friend."
"You have shit taste in film, you know?" Elijah said, rolling his head to the side to look at Dom.
"You have beautiful eyes."
Elijah burst out laughing. "Seriously? That's your best comeback? 'You have beautiful eyes.' You're the same person who told me I have quote 'Creepy horror movie doll eyes' endquote not three days ago."
"I lied," Dom said, and his voice suddenly sounded an octave lower.
"You're starting to freak me the fuck out, Dominic," Elijah said, his voice now serious. Sobriety seemed closer than it had a moment ago.
"Would you punch me if I kissed you right now?"
"Probably not," Elijah said, his extraordinary eyes fluttering closed. His heart was hammering a steady tattoo against the wall of his chest.
Dom reached out and cupped Elijah's cheek with delicately long fingers. His touch was warm against Elijah's cheek, presumably from the alcohol. He leaned in, his breath feeling even warmer against Elijah's face. With the lightest touch, Dom kissed him. When he encountered no resistance, he kissed him again, molding their mouths together. Elijah made a soft noise in his throat and reached out to cup the back of Dom's head. Their kisses became gradually more feverish, but as Dom threw a leg over Elijah's body to roll him onto his back, Elijah broke away.
"Have you ever done this with a man before?" he panted softly.
"Yes," Dom answered. He blinked slowly. "Once."
"Oh, Dom," Elijah exhaled. He dropped his forehead down onto Dom's shoulder. "Do we even have anything for lube?"
Dom leapt up off the bed with energy Elijah was sure he was not capable of at the moment. He dug through his rucksack and returned triumphant with a condom and a one-time-use satchel of Wet. "You've heard of the Scouts, right?"
"You were a boy scout?" Elijah said, the surprise at Dom packing sex supplies on a ski trip masked by curiosity about his scouting experience.
"Well, technically." Dom dropped the condom and lube on the bed next to Elijah and straddled his hips. "Americans have Boy Scouts. We've the 'British Boy Scouts,' but we just call them Scouts. I only did it for a year until I realised I was more interested in the 'boy' part, rather than the 'scouting.'" He leaned down and kissed Elijah again. "So do you top or bottom?"
"I switch," Elijah drawled as Dom's body shifting, dragging pressure across his cock.
"Good, coz I've never bottomed before," Dom grinned, pulling at the hem of his sweater to tug it up and off. He helped Elijah out of his, allowing the henley to fall to the floor atop his sweater.
"What would you have done if I said I was a top?" Elijah asked as he unbuttoned Dom's jeans.
Dom slid down Elijah's body, taking the other man's jeans with him. "I would have lied." Dom grinned wickedly, looking up Elijah's now-nude form. "Fuck, you look delicious." Elijah gasped in surprise as Dom's mouth engulfed his cock.
"Fuck, you never told me you have no gag reflex!" Elijah yelped, hands falling to Dom's head in surprise.
Dom released Elijah's cock with a soft 'pop.' "You never asked," he grinned devilishly.
"Youuuuu," Elijah stuttered as Dom slid back down on his cock.
After only a few more bobs, Dom was back up again. He looked at Elijah with lidded eyes. "You ready? I'm not sure my drunk bonor is going to hold up very long."
"Yeah--I've gotta--fuck's sake, Dominic," Elijah groaned, reaching for the Wet. He lubed two of his fingers as Dom sat back on his heels stroking his own cock. With a look of concentration, Elijah reached under his and proceeded to work himself open. Dom watched appreciatively as Elijah worked up to three fingers.
"Are you good?" Dom asked, his impatience clear.
"Yes," Elijah huffed, pulling his fingers out. "Are you going to rush through the entire act?"
"No. I just want to . . ." Dom lined his cock up and slid forward slowly. He let out a long hiss through his teeth. "Make sure I can get in." Once he was seated, he leaned forward and gave Elijah a long kiss. "I was serious about losing my erection, but I'm quite sure that won't happen now. You've a wonderful ass, Elijah."
"I've had practice." Elijah winked and squeezed his muscles tightly, making Dom eke out a groan.
Dom thrust shallowly a few times, working up to a good rhythm. He knew he'd found the spot when Elijah tossed his head back and let out a throaty moan. "Lucky for you, I've had a bit of practice myself. Granted, it's only been twice with a man, but--"
"Shut the fuck up," Elijah snarled, pulling Dom down for a kiss. Dom reached between them to match the pace of his hand on Elijah's cock with the movement of their coupling.
"Okay," Dom gulped when they parted. "Maybe I lied about that whole lasting thing. I hate to tell you this, Lij, but I'm probably going to blow."
"Not yet you aren't." Taking hold of Dom's biceps, Elijah rolled them over so that he was on top. "Can you cum like this?" he asked, flexing his thigh muscles so that he was barely moving on Dom's cock.
"Ma-maybe not," Dom stuttered.
Elijah rocked forward and bit down on his lower lip. "Good. I always make sure to get mine before the man I'm with gets his. That way he can't roll off me and say 'thanks for a good time.' I'm not that kind of girl."
Elijah's grin turned into and open-mouthed sigh as Dom fisted his cock again. He ground down hard into Dom's hips, as though trying to pull the other man as deeply into his body as he could get. Leaning back just a bit, Elijah felt Dom hit his prostate and he let out another throaty moan.
"Just there, yeah?" Dom asked, momentarily unconcerned about his own pleasure. He pulled his knees up so that Elijah would have something to lean against, and set to work double time on his cock. Elijah threaded his fingers through Dom's, rhythmically squeezing and releasing his muscles as he rode in search of his climax.
"Oh, God, Dom, Dom, I'm gonna cum, oh I'm gonna cum, oh I'm cumming, I'm cumming," Elijah mumbled in one long stream as his cock erupted over Dom's fist. Dom jacked him until Elijah pushed his hand away and slumped back against Dom's knees.
"Oh, don't tell me you're done now. You are definitely not done."
"I'm not done. Well, I am done, but you're not done, so that means I'm not done. Don't be so quick to think I'd leave you unsatisfied." Elijah pulled himself up onto his knees and allowed Dom's still-hard cock to slip from his body. He slithered down between Dom's spread thighs and removed the condom so he could wrap his lips around the head of Dom's cock. It only took a few minutes before Dom was rambling incoherently and tapping the top of Elijah's head insistently. Allowing Dom's cock to slip from his mouth, Elijah watched as Dom silently came in long strings over his own stomach.
"You know, I always thought you were a screamer," Elijah said, tilting his head to the side and looking up at Dom.
"Well, I certainly never would have guessed you talked a lot during sex," Dom said sarcastically. "Imagine that. Elijah can't even shut his mouth long enough to have a shag."
Sliding up the mattress, Elijah reached over for his cigarettes on the table between the two beds. He regarded Dom with a sardonic smile as he lit one. "I didn't hear you complaining about my mouth a moment ago."
"Just taking the piss, love. You have an incredibly talented mouth. Well, you have an incredibly talented . . . fuck, is everything about you talented?" Dom asked, reaching for one of Elijah's cigarettes.
Elijah giggled in that horribly high-pitched octave of his, a reminder that they were still them, despite the fact that they'd just had sex.
"What do you suppose Orli and Bills are doing right now? Do you think they're sharing a post-coital cigarette, too?"
Blowing out the smoke in his lungs, Elijah shrugged. "Maybe. Though if you ask me, the whole 'Billy and Orlando' thing was just a ruse to get me in bed with you."
"No, love," Dom said, reaching for the ashtray balanced precariously on Elijah's bare belly, "that's what the ski trip was for."